05.29.08 (11:19 am) [
edit]
Yeah, I See The Cavernous Hole In Your Face, But How Are You Today?
A slightly different perspective...
I have friends who notice when I get 1/4" trimmed off my hair. They notice when I change from Beige 1 to Beige 2 foundation (make-up). They have remarkable powers of observation when it comes to superficial things. However, they may miss what I consider to be obvious things...like when a person is acting in such a way that might indicate they're feeling anxious, distraught, excited, or any number of other emotions. They are the people who are most likely to ask "How are you?" while passing you in the foyer at church, but never break stride long enough to listen for the answer.
At first glance, they seem like they genuinely care because they've noticed and made mention of some relatively minor difference in your appearance. Upon further consideration, you realize that they noticed (and commented on) the gaping hole in your face, but failed to stop and ask you how you're feeling about the fact that it turned out to be malignant melanoma (just an example). It's OK, though, because there will be others who "dig a little deeper" and offer a listening ear & support when you need it. They may not make a big deal about your extreme makeover or nominate you for "What Not To Wear", but they'd be the first one by your side when the triumphs and tragedies of life occur.
Which type of person is best? Both. Each has their place in life. Sometimes a well-placed compliment is just as impactful to someone as a genuine, "How are you feeling today?" There are times when all it takes for me to feel like my faith in the mankind has been renewed is a simple kind word or gesture. There are other times when I'm so lonely and homesick that the only thing that can possibly help is being wrapped in the embrace of a close friend - one who's been with me through thick and thin. There are even times when neither makes a difference. Those are the times that I know I need to be quiet and listen for the still, small voice of God. If I listen to Mystery Man, he'd say that the only thing God is trying to tell me is
Be Good To Everyone ;-)
posted by:
barnabus1 (
reply)
post date:
05.29.08 (12:01 pm)
Nice to find observant people...maybe...but...perhaps they have so many owieee's and hurt going on inside them, they dare not ask, "How are you?" and mean it! They couldn't bear the answer if it weren't good!! It would only remind them of their own pain that they are unwilling or afraid to share.
One day in the lobby of the hospital, a man accosted a doctor walking through, "Hey doc..I've got this bad pain right here," and pointed to a spot below his crotch. The ddoc said, " Drop your pants." uhhhh the guy stammered..."right here? in front of all these people?" "You're asking me right here aren't you?' as he walked away!!!
posted by:
emerging (
reply)
post date:
05.29.08 (12:18 pm)
Reply to: barnabus1
Exactly! Different people serve different functions. Not everyone has been gifted to offer a helpful response to a difficult answer. In that case, they're better off not asking the question. Shouldn't hold that against them, though - just love them where they are.
posted by:
FinalyFree (
reply)
post date:
05.29.08 (1:00 pm)
In my profession I sometimes feel like people expect me to ask them how they are, and normally I do. I really do care but I also need to be able to keep the Pastor up to speed on all of his parishioners. While I really do care I wonder if any of them ever think otherwise, i.e. just doing my job.
posted by:
emerging (
reply)
post date:
05.29.08 (1:30 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
Kind of brings to mind a line from Bicentennial Man "One is glad to be of service"
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.29.08 (1:44 pm)
I find interesting the tendency of some, when they become aware that you have a cavernous hole in your face, to inevitably steer to conversation to themselves as the subject.
"Yeah, I see you have a hole in your face. Did I tell you about the time I popped a pimple?"
"My uncle had carcinoma in the same spot. It ate his face half off. It started out looking just like yours."
"You've got three months to live? That reminds me, in three months we will go on a cruise? Want to come along? Oh..."
I have the same rotten tendencies, at times. For instance, I'm not good with remembering names mainly because I don't listen in the first place.
Glad my hole-in-the-face could serve as inspiration for this post!
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
05.29.08 (1:50 pm)
"If I listen to Mystery Man, he'd say that the only thing God is trying to tell me is:
Be Good To Everyone ;-)"
Well, not one thing wrong with that!
...and if you EVER see me walking with something stuck to my shoe, please ask me "What's stuck to your shoe there missy?"
Enjoy your day... :)
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
05.29.08 (4:44 pm)
And if everyone was being good to you? That would be a nice thing, wouldn't it? Hey, just a cotton picken' minute, how did you drag my ass into this fray?
And when did the red start coming in?
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
05.29.08 (4:48 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
I think maybe you should carry a cordless drill around with you for a couple of days. That way, when someone asks you what happened, you can just hold the thing up in one hand, hold your other hand up chest high, palm up, and shrug a little.
posted by:
emerging (
reply)
post date:
05.29.08 (5:28 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
Not good with names because you don't listen? It's about time we have some honest around here! OK, enough about you....let's talk about me :)
posted by:
emerging (
reply)
post date:
05.29.08 (5:30 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
You volunteered for this tour, buddy!
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
05.29.08 (5:37 pm)
and, i think i just found out you are a mary kay gal!!! beige 1/beige2! how wonderful...i think : ) be good to your mary kay lady... : )
xoxo
posted by:
emerging (
reply)
post date:
05.29.08 (7:47 pm)
Reply to: mimi
Actually, I think it was Ivory 2 to Beige 2 (something about getting a little sun), but that's probably not relevant.
posted by:
OldSchool (
reply)
post date:
05.30.08 (5:56 am)
Mystery Man makes some good points once in a while...
posted by:
emerging (
reply)
post date:
05.30.08 (5:57 am)
Reply to: OldSchool
He makes A good point once in a while - don't want that monstrous ego taking over the world ;)
posted by:
ggirl (
reply)
post date:
05.30.08 (10:56 am)
I'm very familiar with the type Pastor Dave mentioned.
I think God would also say that you should be very, very good to yourself, too. You know what I mean--not in a selfish way, but in a way that recognizes and honors God's love for you. Just my opinion, though.
Take care.
posted by:
best savings accounts (
reply)
post date:
08.23.08 (2:41 am)
Coll blog, thanks.
posted by:
best dollar savings accounts worldwide (
reply)
post date:
08.25.08 (1:27 am)
Amazine site
Thanks, webmaster.